Who I Am Now Is Not Who I Was

A Different Kind of Childhood

I grew up in rural Aberdeenshire, Scotland UK, no streetlights, no buses, just countryside, silence, and wildlife. My brother and I spent our days climbing trees, making mud pies, and exploring. I used to lie on the grass and watch the clouds, dreaming I could fly to other cities, sing to the people there, and fly home. For now, the cows in the field next door would have to do, and they made a wonderful audience.

Even then, I was different. I knew who was on the phone before anyone picked it up. I sensed things before they happened. I felt my grandmother's presence in spirit. I suffered headaches and used to say a mantra while holding my temples and a warmth would travel down my arms, the headache would be gone. My intuition was always there, I just didn't yet know what to do with it.

Singing led me to London. I spent twelve years there, building a career not in singing, in luxury jewellery, from sales associate to manager, travelling, growing, becoming confident. But no matter how much I achieved, there was always a quiet knowing: there is something more for me. I just didn't know what it was yet.

Everything That Fell Apart

In 2008, we lost my mum to breast cancer. She was the matriarch of our family, a leader, a force. In her final hours, I sat with her alone. I thanked her for raising me to be strong. I told her I loved her. I told her she could go when she was ready. She passed not long after.

I moved back to Scotland, married, and built a life. A jewellery business, a salon, a family. Then the losses kept coming, both in-laws passed within a month of each other. My husband's mental health declined, and eventually bankruptcy followed him. I found myself selling my belongings to pay the bills, working, raising a daughter, running a home, and trying to hold together a marriage everyone around me could see was broken, while I was too lost in survival to fully see it myself.

I had become someone I didn't recognise. I had lost my sense of self, my identity, my spirituality. My intuition was blurred. I was simply lost.

In 2019, just before COVID, we lost my brother. Brain tumour, aged 45. I was at his side when he left. I had asked him to come and talk to me once he'd gone. That night, exhausted, I'd barely fallen into bed, and he came through. Oi, he said, pressing on my back. Oi. I want to talk to you. I made it just before I have to go.

Then came COVID. Divorce. We moved in with my Dad, my daughter and me. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt safe.

How I Found This Work

Years before, my mum had given me two decks of oracle cards. One day, something drew me to them, and the nudges began.

Through COVID, I was outside every day with my daughter, grounded in nature, reading everything I could find on spirituality, learning tarot, meditating, asking for signs. Something in me was waking back up.

After lockdown, at a beauty training course, I mentioned to someone, I still have no idea how it came up, that I wanted to learn Reiki. Oh, they said, you should see my boyfriend's mum.

So I did.

Reiki Level 1, and I knew instantly, this is for me. Level 2 followed quickly, and I began offering treatments. My Reiki Master is an inspiration and still gets calls from me every now and then with me enthusing, "You won't believe what just happened", she gets it fully and I feel safe she see's me for who I am. Then one morning, I heard a voice, clear as day. My Reiki guide. A beautiful, deep voice with a Middle Eastern accent. He guided me through my work until I became a Reiki Master Teacher when a new guide came through. My psychic abilities expanded. Sound healing, past life regression, tarot reading, each layer deepening and expanding wisdom and experience.

Working in the salon, I started noticing something in the women who came to me. They were exhausted. Stretched to breaking. Juggling careers, children, households, marriages, trying to hold everything together while quietly disappearing. I knew that feeling intimately. And I knew I had to find tools to help at a deeper level.

I looked at counselling, psychology, hypnotherapy, coaching. I was about to sign with another trainer when my Reiki Master said: 'wait, look at this first.'

That's when I found The Intuitive Psychology Association. One discovery call with the co-founders, and it was a full body yes.

I threw myself in completely, learning, researching, coaching clients, as part of the qualification, in Aberdeen face to face, in Glasgow and England over Zoom, while running the salon, raising my daughter, navigating a painful divorce. At every turn, the work blew my mind. I was experiencing my own transformation going through the coaching experience myself at the same time as facilitating others'. Massive somatic releases. Old trauma leaving my body. Things I had carried for decades, finally gone.

Gaining my Advanced Accredited Diploma in Intuitive Psychology Coaching felt like the moment everything clicked. Everything I had lived, every loss, every unravelling, every moment of being completely lost, had been preparing me for this.

Zana Grant, Now

I have never felt like I fit in. Now I understand why, it was never about fitting in. It was about becoming myself.

I am a Master Intuitive Psychology Coach, a Reiki Master Teacher, a Past Life Regression Practitioner, a Sound Healer, Tarot Reader and a Spiritual Life Coach. I work with people who are ready to stop surviving and start becoming, to uncover who they truly are beneath the conditioning, the fear, and the survival patterns that have kept them safe but small.

I know what it is to be lost in the quiet collapse of self. I know what it is to find your way back. And I know the path back is never through more striving, it is always through going inward.

I choose me. I choose my daughter. I choose love, wholeness, freedom. And I am here to hold space for you to choose what is true for you.

The truth is already within you. It always has been, and now you get to see it clearly, embody it and thrive. It's time, Zana